Fake it.

Ha! I'm talking about faking it and I'm totally not talking about fake people like fake Bradley! Ha! (I'm cracking myself up over here.)

I'm talking about faking it. Like, till you make it. 

Here's a little story about me that I should be too embarrassed to share in this forum but sadly, my dignity was lost some time ago. So here you go...

When I was in college, I thought it would be really cool if I knew how to play the guitar. I thought this would be SUCH A COOL thing, that I actually went so far as to borrow my friend's mother's guitar, and every so often, take it out of its case. I didn't actually practice or have any idea what I was doing. But that did not stop me from LITERALLY CARRYING IT AROUND WITH ME TO THE TRAIN STATION, WHERE I BOARDED THE TRAIN FOR HOME LIKE A FAKE MUSICIAN. I looked very much like I was quite possibly going to start playing for the train station and perhaps taking tips. In reality, I didn't even know which side of the guitar was the right side up.

So this is a really bad example of faking it. It's faking it way too much, without actually doing anything to become 'real' at what you're faking. We'll call it 'Bad Example #1' of faking it till you make it.

(I just read this to my husband and he is looking at me like I'm crazy.)

Bad Example #2: When I just started my first blog and I was painting and writing and just generally being kind of crafty and creative, I had to have business cards made for a book conference I was attending. And I was SO utterly incapable of faking it, so totally mortified to call myself an artist, that I literally paid money for this business card:

The front isn't so bad. Cute, right? Even though it's totally vague. But the back? Oh dear God...the back actually reads (and I SO wish I had not thrown out every single one of these​ so I could show you): 

Danielle Davies
writer, editor, blogger & wannabe artist

Wannabe artist? Seriously? That's right. I'm so close to owning it, so close to faking it. I had actually sold a few paintings prior to having the cards made, technically making it totally acceptable for me to actually call myself an artist. But for whatever reason, and maybe it was some cosmic repentance for overly faking it so badly all those years prior, I just couldn't do it. 

Why am I telling you all of this? Especially now, that you're likely so embarrassed for me that you'd like to quit reading immediately? 

Because, ladies and gentleman, despite these embarrassing instances, I really am a believer in faking it till you make it. (And I'm not alone...The Bloggess , Jenny Lawson, talks about 'pretending' to be a great reader for her audio book and then becoming one, and Jeff Goins writes about the 'turning pro' mindset.)

The thing is, I think it has to be done correctly. And for me, that means two things...

1. Putting in the work. If you don't put the work in to become the thing you want to be (a la me as a guitar player), then you're not just faking, you're kind of actually lying. Right? And lying is, karmically speaking, kind of a crappy way to gain some advantages. So don't be like guitar carrying me. 

2. Owning it. If you've put the work in, even if you're just starting out, own that thing. Have some confidence in your work, yourself, the universe, whatever. Just own it. Do not use the word 'wannabe'. Unless you're singing the old Spice Girl song. Actually, not even then.

With that said, it's not always easy nor is it consistent. I've gotten a lot better at it but it's always a work in progress. In fact, this is a little how my 'creative' process goes lately, but actually, I think it's for any type of goal,  whether the goal involves being a better mom or an artist or a writer or whatever...

I get an idea. I want to do it. I tentatively begin doing it. I start to falter. I completely freeze and get nothing done. I give myself a massive pep talk. I start walking around my house muttering, "I think I can, I think I can" like I'm the Little Blue Engine That Could. I start to fake it, telling myself that I've already got this.  I pretend that I know what I'm doing so effectively that I actually start to believe it. And I act on it and I put something into the world. And then the whole cycle starts again.

It is exhausting. 


On the other hand, things get done. 

And while shockingly effective, I'd like to skip the middle man (tons of doubt, inability to produce, staring at a blank screen/canvas/journal) and just keep it productive. Unfortunately, this seems to be how I roll, so I have to have lots and lots of 'pep talk' material on hand. One of my very favorite kicks to the ass is this phrase, which I just popped on a canvas so I could keep it handy. 

I'm also telling you this because I'm in full 'pep talk' mode myself. So while this is for you, in writing it, I'm getting a little pep talk out of it as well.

And that, peeps, is me, faking it till I make it. Hustle and all.

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Psst...almost forgot!

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