Kirsten Miller on Anger, Censorship, and the Stories That Set Women Free
What if women’s anger isn’t a weakness—but a weapon for change?
In this episode of ROAR, host Danielle Davies talks with Kirsten Miller, bestselling author of "The Change" and "Lula Dean’s Little Library of Banned Books," about the radical power of storytelling in a world that keeps trying to silence women.
Kirsten shares how fiction becomes resistance—tackling censorship, rage, motherhood, and magic—and why women’s stories still threaten the status quo.
🔥 In this conversation
• How to transform anger into creative fuel
• Why books by and about women keep getting banned
• What “The Change” reveals about midlife power
• How storytelling can shift culture (and policy)
00:00 Introduction to Roar
00:23 PSA re: The Fund to Prevent Sexual Assault
00:56 Introducing Kirsten Miller
02:28 Kirsten's Writing Journey
05:39 Empowering Women Through Fiction
08:12 Challenging Harmful Myths
13:49 Magical Realism in Kirsten's Books
18:01 The Power of Women
25:30 Addressing Censorship
26:35 Inspiration Strikes: The Birth of a New Book
27:50 Writing About the South: Love and Pain
28:39 Compassionate Storytelling: Avoiding Vilification
30:22 Book Banning: A Nationwide Issue
31:34 Advice for Women: Fighting Censorship
32:35 The Importance of Local News
35:03 Creating 'Watch Your Back': A Rallying Cry
37:08 Focusing on a Single Front: Protecting Women and Girls
41:52 Celebrating Unconventional Women
43:57 Book Recommendations and Upcoming Projects
50:19 Supporting Authors: Word of Mouth Matters
Small town newspapers discussed
Books recommended by Kirsten
Invisible Women:
Men Who Hate Women:
Books discussed
The Change:
Lula Dean's Little Library of Banned Books:
The Kiki Strike Series:
Sleeping Beauties:
To get in touch with or follow Kirsten Miller
IG: @kirstenmillerbooks5657
Substack:
Listen to ROAR with Danielle Davies: Women, Culture & Impact on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. New conversations every Tuesday.
Full Transcript
This transcript was generated automatically and lightly cleaned up. It may contain small errors.
Hey, I'm Danielle Davies and you're listening to Roar, a show that amplifies the voices of women breaking barriers, leading change, and making real impact. Keep listening for bold ideas and stories that inspire you to find your voice and make some noise. Every 60 seconds, nine people in the United States are sexually assaulted. 7 million rapes each year. But the people behind the Fund to Prevent Sexual Assault believe sexual violence is preventable.
Your support helps fund programs that empower young people, train leaders, and create safer spaces for everyone. Prevention starts with action. org to learn more and donate today. Welcome back to Roar. This is your host Danielle Davies.
Today, I'm beyond excited to welcome a woman who's not just telling great stories. She's starting a movement. Kirsten Miller is a best-selling novelist whose books do more than entertain. They ignite something in the women who read them, myself included. Her novel, The Change, reimagines midlife not as an ending, but as a beginning.
A moment when women step into extraordinary power. Her newest book, Lula Dean's Little Library of Ban Books, tackles censorship, truth, and why banning books is about so much more than the books themselves. And through her Substack newsletter, Watch Your Back: Looking Out for Women and Girls in America, she's urging women to take action on their bodies, their rights, their safety, and their power. If you've ever felt like you were being told to sit down and shut up, this conversation's for you. Let's talk about transformation, resistance, and the stories that can change everything.
Welcome, Kirsten. Oh, thank you. That was the best intro ever. Thanks. I'm on a roll.
This is good. Thank you. Well, as you know, because we just spoke, I'm very excited that you're here. And I read The Change probably two years ago, and I couldn't stop raving about it. And it's one of those books that has stayed with me.
Actually, I turned 50 in August, too. So, I was like I'm like, it's happening. Like, I'm transforming in a powerful way. well, and we can only hope. So, thank you so much for being here.
I'm really excited and I just I think you have so much to say. So, thank you. I wanted to ask you the first question is not just specifically about your books, but when did you realize that fiction could be such a tool for action? So, you know, it's it's funny because I knew I' I've discovered it and then I kind of lost sight of it for a while. I actually started my writing career writing books for young people.
And my first book series was called Kiki Strike. And it was I wrote it because it was it was really targeted very directly at about 12 year old girls because I kept seeing I when I had been in advertising for a long time and I worked on you know what was back then called feminine hygiene products and you know one of the things that we looked at really closely was the change that changes that girls went through when they hit puberty and you would see these little you know badass you know 10 11 year old girls who were just super, you know, spirited and full of moxy and then they would hit puberty and you could see some of that confidence kind of draining away. because, you know, there were all these sort of stigmas and secrecy surrounding menration and all of these things. And I thought, I wish I could write something that would kind of inoculate girls at that age and sort of give them kind of the the little kick in the butt that they needed to sort of stay those little badasses throughout their teenage years. And so Kiki Strike is it's about six delinquent girl scouts who discover an underground city beneath Manhattan.
But it's really kind of a first a lot of people have written to me and said it was their first feminist handbook. And I love that. I mean it's I there are it's funny because that was in 2006 that book came out. So like the first gener group of girls who read that book is now grown up and they're doing like the most amazing stuff and I was sort of in contact with a lot of them. So I know what they're doing now and it's just amazing to see.
But, you know, then as I continued my career, I went on and did books that were a little bit less, you know, had a little bit less of a, you know, a, you know, a mission to them. And I got tired. It's, you know, writing is really exhausting. And, I've, you know, had just finished a couple of series that I wrote with Jason Seagull, who's a lovely guy. And I didn't know if I wanted to write anymore because I was just burned out.
It was a wonderful experience, but I was very, very tired. And then I, you know, I decided if I'm going to do this as a career, I want to I want to get up every day and feel like I'm doing something worthwhile, like that I'm sort of trying to make the world a better place in some form or fashion. And I just I love poking bears. Like I do I love I love I love causing trouble. I love poking bears.
I love sort of, you know, talking about I, you know, I love kind of proddding women to stand up and, you know, do what they know is right. And so that's been my mission ever since. Well, you're doing a great job at it. And actually, this is not what I was planning to ask you next, but I have to know. You just mentioned you were in advertising.
So, it's funny because when I was reading about in the book The Change, if you haven't read it, there's a woman named Harriet who was a PR executive or an advertising executive and she is no longer she transforms into something else, which I'm not going to give anything away. I hope that wasn't too much already. But was that did you use your own experience in that field to kind of inform that? Yes. Yes.
In fact, in fact, there's a there's a an ad in that chapter where in which a green tea product, you know, magically purifies a woman and it's it's incredibly sexist. That is a real ad. I actually quit an ad agency over that specific ad. And so, I threw it in there. And yeah, I'm hoping the guys who wrote it stand up and take credit at some point, but nobody has.
But yeah, I mean it's a lot of that stuff in that chapter is very much based on my experiences. I was wondering where she came from because you had such good insights and it's funny because I've I've totally used them as like I've I've relied on them. I realize it's a fictional book, but I'm like I'm relying on it. Somebody was talking to me actually another podcast guest was talking about women in the music industry and how you know you don't necessarily see it from the outside but it's really skewed towards the men. you don't there's just a lot happening that we don't see because we're not in that industry.
And I was like, you know, it's the same thing in advertising, but I actually have no idea. No, it is. It is. It is absolutely. And I had one of the first people who read it and asked me to do she was starting a podcast.
I'm not sure if it's still around or not, but it was a young woman who was in advertising. And one of the reasons that I said yes to her was because I was eager to pick her brain because I at that point I had, you know, it had been a few years since I'd worked in an agency on, you know, I've been doing advertising freelance for a long time, but I hadn't been in an agency for a while. And she assured me that it was exactly the same as it ever was, which was so, you know. Yeah. You were hoping for strides here, but apparently it's it resonates.
Not so much. Yeah. Yeah. Well, but on the plus side, your books often challenge the traditional stories that women are told about themselves. Like there's a lot of empowerment in your characters and it often comes from places you wouldn't expect.
so and you mentioned what you know kind of the impetus between behind Kiki strikes. What's the most harmful myth about women you'd love to see disappear if you can name one? Yeah. So when I was and this was really this was you know it's it's funny how certain things that people just say off the cuff you know throughout the course of your life end up lodging in your brain. So when I was in my mid20s I was working with a woman who was the grand old age of 38 and she informed me and I think she was doing it in kind of a mean-spirited way.
She was, you know, was told me that you know, there would come a day when I would be invisible, that it happened to all women that, you know, you would just sort of walk down the street one day and nobody would, you know, see you or care about you or listen to you or anything. And I thought I was like, absolutely not. Are you kidding me? But I remember thinking like I you know I I was never terribly worried about myself. I was you know I've always been the sort of person who will stand up and make a lot of noise.
But you know it just it seemed so sad to me that women were leading their lives you know and seeing this kind of cut off point in their you know mid to late 40s after which they would you know they would be useless and I it was just I mean it absolutely boggled my mind that was a thing. And then as I started approaching the moment, you know, I live in New York with all these amazing women, you know, people who are very successful, people who are very smart, all of, you know, all of these things, artists, you know, all sorts of professionals. And they would start out I talking about permenopause or menopause and they would almost whisper the word and I thought, "What the is going on here? " like we are smarter and you know more financially stable and more experienced and more everything than we were 20 years ago when we were you know running around like idiots. not that all 20-year-olds do.
I certainly did, but not all 20-year-olds do. But like I'm like this is the best time of our lives. Why are we why are we dreading it? And so that was one of the things that I really wanted to attack with the change was just this whole notion that we that we got from our we inherited from our mother's generation and our grandmother's generation that there would come become a day when as a woman you were no longer needed or wanted around and it makes no sense. It doesn't make any sense.
But I also feel like in some ways like I so I really I wasn't going to talk so much about like the book specifically in case people didn't read it. I'm just going to say I got just was at the point where Celeste, this is also on the change because I'm rereading it, friends who are listening. I'm rereading the book and this woman Celeste is I'm giving something away. She's having an affair and her and she's fine with it and she and her husband is having an affair and she's fine with that too. And it's almost like this notion of invisibility in some ways you can flip it around so that you're like and it almost serves me like I'm going to be whoever I want to be because I'm now no longer even regarded in some in some ways or expected to not be regarded.
Well, I mean it's it is there's you know I've always loved sort of taking a weakness and making it a strength. you know, that sort of jiu-jitsu move where you like in in Kiki's in the my first books when I'm talking to 12 year olds, I'm like being, you know, people not seeing you is a huge advantage. You know, if people talk in a room like you're not even there, you can listen in. You know, like there are so many advantages to not being taken seriously, use them. And I feel like those same words of wisdom can be applied, you know, to women our age as well.
It's just sort of like, yeah, if they don't take you, if they don't take you seriously, if they underestimate you, you can use that to your advantage, they will never see you coming, they will never think that you're capable of what you're capable of doing. It gives you the element of surprise every single time. So use it like instead of you know sort of just accepting what they tell you and you know sort of absorbing all of these insults. Look at them and figure out how you might be able to turn it around to work in your favor because often do that. you've turned it around epically in in both books that we talked about, but especially in the change because it's in a really kind of mystical way that isn't necessarily part for the course.
So, you've changed midlife for women into really a superpower for these women. And I'm just curious, when you first started reading that, were or when you first started writing it, was that your intention or were you just going to make them super strong, brave, wonderful women, which is, by the way, its own kind of superhero, don't get me wrong. or superpower, but instead they've got a little bit something extra. Each of them has a little bit something kind of out there, a little woo, a little magical about them. So I was just it's not too So I didn't want to do I wanted I didn't want to go all Marvel with it like you know I always wanted to keep one foot very firmly planted in reality.
So these are these are sort of things powers that you know you could kind of imagine somebody having and they were inspired by different people that I had encountered over the years. In fact, I think probably the earliest inspiration came I mean God like probably 17 years ago or so. I was going to a gym in Greenwich Village and I would go there around lunchtime and this woman would come in every day and she was this amazingly glamorous woman and she probably she must have worked at a art gallery or like a you know mag fashion magazine or something and she would come in and get into her you know her workout clothes and she would get on an elliptical and I watched her with just absolute I was fascinated cuz she would get and she would beat the thing up like I mean she first of all she had the resistance on like 40 or like whatever it was it was crazy and she would be like this and she would punch the air and you could just see her cursing under and I was like wow she's really mad and I kept thinking like what if we could harness that power? What if we could hook that elliptical up to the electrical grid or something like that? what could she be a what could she what kind of what kind of energy would she be able to generate?
And so that was really the my first I think that was the very origin of it was like all of them are really like you said they have one foot in the door. They're all just the tiniest hair outside of everyday experiences. Do you know what I mean? Just the tiniest little bit like they Nobody goes too far. It's not It's not crazy.
They're not messing with the weather. It's not like some Marvel thing, which that's fun, too, but it's not that at all. It's But and I think because it's so close to reality, it's even more powerful. I mean, that's what I mean to me, that's what I've always loved. Like, I always love the sort of I mean, people have called it magical realism, which I think is probably the closest thing to it.
It lives in a the intersection of a lot of different genres, but like I loved magical realism as a as a kid, like particularly like South American magical realism. And just sort of that sense that like, you know, something that the the world was a slightly more magical place than it actually is, like that things could possibly happen. And to me, that was far more fun than fantasy or superheroes or anything like that. I wanted to believe that these things might actually happen in real life. So that's kind of I' I've played with that in almost all of my books.
just this it's it's a little bit it's kind of like technicolor, you know what I mean? It's a little bit more vivid, a little bit one step over, you know, the line into fantasy, but you know, nothing too far, you know. Yeah. Nothing like unbelievable. It's funny because I read what's that?
Is it Sarah Moss? That series. It's very popular. Yes. Crown of Crown of Thorn.
Yes. You know what I'm talking about. I know what you're talking about. But it took me like a hundred and some pages because I was like I just can't get into this fairy world. I was like it's just too much.
I mean eventually you get there and that's that's great. That's that's the power of world building but it's not it's not this is something else entirely. And this is really I think I think that the books you've written and spec well both of them but now that I just read Lula Dean's little library of band books that's they're very motivating and I feel like they're very empowering for women everywhere for a lot of reasons. So this is exactly so I had this conversation with a bunch of people yesterday. This is exactly what I am trying to do exactly.
So my and I was going to say it's my theory, but it's not my theory because I actually know it for a fact that we are the most powerful generation of women in the history of the world. We are like in every way, shape, and form. You know, we are more educated. We are, you know, more financially powerful, more socially powerful, more politically powerful. I don't think that we know how powerful we are yet.
And I think that we are still letting you know, things that happen, current events, you know, evil people here and like I mean, I feel like we let them kind of push us into a corner and like, you know, we're scared and what are they going to do to us? And it's like, we can stop them. You know, we have the power. You know, women are half of more than half of the population and women over 40 are 25% of the entire American population. We and we buy everything we I mean it's just we you know if we want to and we summon all of our powers and put them to use we can turn this world into one that is a much better place for us and for our daughters and our nieces and you know the generations to come.
And that's what I'm trying to do is just sort of is really wake up and say, you know, as in the case of Lula Dean, go out there and fight for what you know is right, even if it scares the hell out of you, you know, go and do it. You have to do it. Like, who else is going to do it? You're the one. Go do it.
" You know, so that our daughters and, you know, our granddaughters and, you know, the generations to follow don't have to, you know, we can change that. And it's interesting you said that. I'm cutting you off. I'm so sorry cuz you're just reminding me you know I remember when the me too movement first started to come into like public consciousness and I remember thinking God I have been so lucky that I haven't had a major attack like so many other women have had and I was like I am just so lucky like I you know this is thank God and then I thought about all the little things though like all the little things that were not right, things that just And how I gauged it was, would it be okay if somebody did this to my daughter? And that's when you're like, oh, hell no.
Like, you can take a lot as an adult woman. You're like, I'm an adult woman. I'm me. I've I'm I've been around. I've seen things.
I can I can take it. But when you look at the next generation, you're like, that is not about to happen to my daughter. no matter if it's something that somebody saw as not that big of a deal. If it's a big deal to me, it would be a big really big deal to her. So, it's just interesting how you mentioned that and fighting for your daughters and how kind of we're looking at that world of accepted violence or just accepted aggression that we didn't ask for and we didn't want and how we really just nodded our heads and went along with it and it's just a different world now.
Yeah. And I think you know I it's it's funny because I when the change first came out I a lot of people assumed that I was that I hated men which I absolutely do not. I've like the men in my life are wonderful people. and extremely supportive and you know just I had the greatest dad ever. but you know, I think one of the problems is it's it's not just that we don't that we're kind of waking up to what happened and how wrong it was.
I think a lot of men out there have no idea that women face these kind of things on a daily basis. I think that, you know, that it is it is something that often comes as a huge surprise to them. In fact, I've had a few months ago I was talking to a woman who was a teacher in Tennessee where they are forbidden to talk about a lot of different subjects including sexism and yep in this in the classroom. And she said that one of the things that she did was just instead of opening up a discussion around a particular topic, she would she would have the girls describe she'd be like, "Girl, you know, to all the young women in the class, you know, tell us about how you if you were going to go out after school, it's dark outside, there's nobody else around. Tell me what precautions you would take like you know going from you know the school how you know building to your car in the parking lot on the other side of the you know you know the campus.
And so the girls would go through these whole I mean they all had these rituals that they had you know because they knew you know how dangerous it could be to walk across a broad dark parking lot. and she said you would watch the boys' faces just like their jaws drop because they had no idea that the girls were experiencing that kind of fear that they were taking these kind of precautions. That, you know, something as simple as a walk a few hundred yards through the dark could be as terrifying as an experience as it as it can be for a woman. She is. So, it was a real revelation for a lot of them.
And I feel like we're not having those conversations with boys as well. And I think a lot of them are open to them, open to learning these things. We're just not telling them. Yeah. No, I agree with you.
And I also feel like I always have to say and I love men. Like I have a son and a husband. I love them both. My father like it's not an anti-man thing. a pro women and just and really pro everybody because it behooves no one for one half of the population to be less than their best selves.
No, absolutely. I mean it just you know it always strikes me as odd when Yeah. or insane rather you know when people talk about the conversations that are we having right now around DEI and women in the workforce and not being as competent as you know and it's just sort of it's a Do you really want to take half of your population and sort of push them to the side and not let them become the doctors and the scientists and the everything that you know that will make our society stronger and better and more powerful and more economically successful. It's just I it I don't know. It's just it's in everybody's best interest that half of society isn't doesn't feel, you know, terrified and put upon all the time.
Well, you know, and speaking of when you mentioned that your friend can't teach anything to do with sexism, it actually is perfect way to for me to ask you about Lululeaden. So, you wrote about censorship in a pretty powerful way and it's and it's like really a spoton like direct message for exactly what's going on in so much of the country. I feel like why was this story so important for you to tell? My gosh, there were a lot of reasons. I you know it's it was it was actually the the very basic idea came from my editor who had been in Texas where you know book banning is quite common.
and she was in Austin where people had put signs in their front yards that said come and get it meaning we have all the band books and if you want to borrow them you know come and get them at our house. " And once she said that, I you know, it's I don't usually I was in the middle of working on something else. I wasn't I was looking forward to finishing it, but I couldn't get this idea out of my head. And I just there were so many books that I knew from having been in the YA world that had been challenged or pulled off of shelves that absolutely needed to be there like Speak which is about rape and you know Diary of Anne Frank and you know are you there God it's me Margaret and all of these incredibly important books. so I wanted to I wanted to show how powerful it was to have those books fall into the right hands, you know, the hands of people who really needed them and, you know, and have that have it be sort of not exactly who you would expect to need them.
so I I just loved that matchmaking and I sat down and I thought, okay, I'll I'll see if I can if this is something that I'm really passionate about and I wrote the first four chapters in a single weekend, which is super fast for me. I never write that fast. And I thought, God, there's so much here that I need to say. And you know, also as a southerner, you know, I knew I wanted to write about the South at some point, but I had not expected to do it quite so soon. But once I started, there was just so much about, you know, you know, this region that I grew up in that I both that I love very much and that also really hurts my soul on a daily basis as well.
There's so much that I felt like I needed to say about our culture, our heritage, all of these things that I think we have not been honest with ourselves about. So once I started writing it just poured out. I wrote the whole book in about I think four months. But you know you did it without you could have easily vilified the South or the people in the in the book like that the you could have vilified Lula Dean and while she's not somebody that I would necessarily want to hang out with every day you all of them the movie star you know you really turned it around and even with the south you put a big emphasis on look we have all these amazing things here we are southern hospitality It's a phrase. We welcome everybody.
So why would you not put that forward? I think that's such a helpful way to have done it. And you and I just talked briefly about this before we before we started recording too that even in the country right now, you know, there's a tendency to want to be well maybe you don't have this tendency, but I have the tendency to be like why would you do this? Like why would you pick this? Who why you know what are you thinking?
But that's not going to change anybody's mind and that's not going to help anybody. the way that you wrote it really showed a lot of compassion for a different way of thinking and really managed to bring people together. It at least fictionally I mean obviously it's a book and it ends and it's finite and we can be like oh look you know and it does have you know it is it is people are I've I've seen like a couple of reviews here and there like it's it's not realistic. " Oh, no. It's supposed to be super realistic.
This happened. This happened. Yes. Oh, yeah. But yeah, I mean it's you know the South is it's it's been a scapegoat for a lot of issues that are very American.
And when you write a book about book banning and you go all around the country and you talk to people, librarians and school teachers and whatnot, you learn very quickly that it is happening everywhere. It's happening in Massachusetts. It's happening in Wisconsin. It is happening in Colorado. It is happening in all of these places that you know we assume are you know deep blue.
And you know it's it's so it's it's certainly it's certainly not just the south that's having problems with this. But you know it's so easy for this country to kind of to sort of push things off as you know a southern problem. You know, there is not a place in this country that doesn't suffer from the same issues that people in the south. Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
There might be little spots, little spots that don't, but Well, I think Brooklyn is perfect. Like, we have no problems whatsoever here in Brooklyn. Well, what about if do you have advice for women who want to push back about push back against censorship in their own communities since it is happening everywhere? involved. Okay, it's like it's this is we spend way too much time these days and I'm not talking about women specifically, but everybody.
We spend too much time yelling into the void of social media. Get off the computer, get off of your phone and go into your communities. And if you if you are the sort of person who wants to run for something, which I hope you know a lot of people are, run for your school board, run for your city council, run for all of these small little offices that have been left vacant and, you know, by, you know, Democrats in particular and have been filled up by people with agendas that we don't always agree with. go run against them, you know, or at the very least go to the meetings and find out what's happening and speak up. You know, it's we used to, you know, not even in the distant past, we had local newspapers that would tell us what was happening.
We don't have those anymore in a lot of places. Crazy. We don't have I worked for a few. That's why I'm like, and they're gone. They're just no longer.
And it's a real disservice to everybody. It absolutely is. We have no there's no accountability because people don't show up and they don't know the news because there's not even that one reporter sitting in the meeting, you know. Yeah. Yeah.
And if you're from So it's so funny because my hometown's newspaper is still up and running. It's a wonderful newspaper. It's called the Silva Herald. And it's so funny because I volunteer in the park here in Brooklyn, Prospect Park. And I'm working with this young woman who is, you know, she is I don't know what exactly her role is there, but she works with the park.
She's, you know, she's a nature expert of some sort. And I asked her where she was from because she I recognized her accent. And her father is the editor of my hometown paper. And we had this long discussion about how amazing it is. How like the best part for everyone is reading the arrest record for the week.
Like if you live in a small southern town, like the first thing everybody does when they get the paper is open it up to see who got arrested that week. So I feel like people are missing out without that one. And I actually can't remember what this part is called, but in the back of the paper like everybody can just write in their like complaints about people and it's like a that's like the first thing you look at because it's like whoever stole the Wait, is this in your town in the town you live in now? A little further south, but it's Yeah. In Oh my god.
I would buy like give me a subscription to the paper. I like I see this is like I wonder if there isn't like a way to kind of you know to to bring some of this stuff back you know by kind of embracing you know the arrest record and the complaints and all of these things that people really love the gossip of it. Yeah. Yes. Yes.
because it's it's that but then it also informs you know you're so well okay so you've got a newsletter out though and it's called watch your back looking out for women and girls in America which is very clearly a rallying cry for women so what drove you to create that and also you know a lot of people I've noticed in business or in any in anything that they have to sell or people they want to they have to be likable enough for their thing to sell. they shy away a little bit from politics, right? " Why is speaking out so important to you? Well, because I think that we're in very serious jeopardy as a country and as women and girls in this country. And I felt like I it's just it's one of those things I try my guiding principle in life is the avoidance of regret.
So I just I try to act in a way where I won't feel bad about it at some point in the future. So I know that if I did nothing and you know terrible things happened in this country that I would regret not having done something when I had the chance. So I and also I was very angry at the media in general which I think you know it's not ex you know I think there is a lot of good stuff out there. I think there are a lot of great journalists out there, but I you know, as somebody who lives in New York and was a has a long-term, you know, relationship and love for the New York Times, it has been very discouraging to see the coverage of various issues in the Times lately in the Washington Post. I mean, God, it's just pathetic.
so I really wanted to step up and try and do something. And I think that we are one of the groups that is in the most danger. Now, I care a lot about a lot of different kinds of groups, but one of the one of the resolutions that I have made is to fight on a single front this time. I feel like if I try to, and I feel it's true of all of us. I'm gonna pull this a little bit closer.
I feel like it's true of all of us that if we if we try to, you know, to fight every single battle out there, we are going to lose. We're just never going to be able to put the kind of time and energy and attention into to doing what we need to do if we're fighting on 40 different fronts. But if each of us chooses the one that you know that really hits home for us the most and puts everything that we have into that I think we can really make a huge difference. So for me, because of the nature of my work, because of the fact that I have a teenage daughter, because I'm female and I've lived in this body for a very long time, you know, my passion right now above all others is protecting women and girls. So I want to the purpose of the newsletter which is filled with profanity and but is incredibly informative because I do read a lot and it's sort of like I end up at the end of the week having a collection of links that I want to do something with.
So, I sort of put them into a newsletter that's that's funny and profane and but really I think gets to the heart of the issues that impact us the most. And you know, it's there's a lot of stuff coming up right now that I think we need to be really really aware of and willing to you know to fight for. And you're right too because the idea of be like ex overextending yourself and I feel like and that you know I watched a video yesterday I think it was Ezra Klein showing Steve Bannon saying you know what they'll do is hit you with muzzle fire. So it's like you're batting you're batting you're batting. And just this morning, as I was telling you, something came out and it was about at and it was it was such like there's so many huge things happening that I was surprised that this was the one that made me like it's like I just snapped because I just had enough.
It was at West Point. They eliminated all the clubs that were cultural of any sort. So any kind of women's club that there had been there for decades, Vietnamese students, any kind of club. So, I have a son who's a college freshman and I just was thinking I can't imagine somebody taking a resource away from my kid like in for no reason. It's so it's such a it was such a it's such a not for what reason would you take that away?
Like what do you have to gain by removing that from a college? It's not there's no money involved. It's we're just groups. So that was the thing and at first I was like oh my goodness like I'm so outraged and then I'm like okay you ha we have to we have to focus we have to focus on the biggest things to happen. Not that's not important it's all important and that's the problem.
It is all important. So you really have to kind of condense your focus to make the biggest impact. Yeah it's that's a real shame about West Point. I have a lot of respect for West Point that you know it's when you grow up in a place where people do not have a great deal of money on average. West Point is sort of West Point is like the Harvard of the like the not so rich people.
You know what I mean? It's like that is where some of the smartest kids that I grew up with ended up going to school, you know? And it actually has always been one of the things that has made me very proud of this country that we have an institution like that or like the Coast Guard Academy or you know Air Force Academy that takes these incredibly smart kids and you know and gives them a worldclass education. Yeah. In charge of stuff, you know.
It's so Yeah. that they're messing with West Point. Yeah, I know. It's it's interesting that's what I mean so many like hugely critical things have happened with women's health care and so I was like this is the thing that's gonna put me over the edge today but apparently it was. So I'm glad I'm talking to you.
So you're you're redirecting me which is which is great. and so at the Rur podcast we love to highlight women who are changing lives in unique ways. So not necessarily the most traditional paths. They're not always running for office. they're not always, you know, in politics or leading think tanks.
Sometimes there's an abortion doctor or a woman self-defense teacher. So, in your books, you seem to celebrate similar women, those who don't necessarily fit a conventional mold, but are still managing to make a huge impact, whether they're sneaking, you know, band books into a band, a little library, or becoming a physical force like Joe and the change. What draws you to these kinds of women and what do you think we can learn from the their unconventional approaches? I think what draws me to them is that's who I want to be. You know, like so much of this so much of so many of these characters are, you know, it's it's almost they're like they are models of women that I aspire to emulate, you know?
I mean, it's these are the kinds of women that I would like to be. It's, you know, when I when I talk about sort of giving women a kick in the pants and, you know, know what how powerful you are. Go out and use it. you know, that's a message that's intended as much for myself as it is for anyone else. So, you know, that's that's what attracts me to it.
And, you know, I grew up with a mother who was very much like that and she was kind of a force of nature. so, you know, I always I always admired that in people. I loved, you know, seeing strong women who were not, you know, kind of conventional. And in the South, we do convention real well. you know, it's and the women who didn't necessarily fit into those little boxes and still kind of kicked and punched and, you know, fought their way through life.
That's those are the ones I always admired the most. So, I put them in my books. Well, also another thing you put in your book, obviously in Lululean, you've got like a whole bunch of and you use real books for the most part, real books that have been banned and you mention them and that's awesome because sometimes you're like this was banned? It's crazy. But also, you talk about at the very end you say The Girls Guide to the Revolution is one book that has not been written.
that's just a fake title and wouldn't it be great if it were? Are there any books you recommend to readers that they should absolutely be adding to their reading list if they feel like you do besides your own? Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm actually sitting next to all of my books that this is these are this my like my favorite bookshelf. This is like where all the witchy books and stuff are.
I love Invisible Women is what's her name? by her last name is Perez is a fantastic book that just sort of really uncovers you know how to what degree this world was built by men for men and it doesn't do it in a in a sort of a combative way. It just it really reveals, you know, how this everything that you know from medications to automobiles to, you know, bathrooms in public places, everything was built by men to serve their needs, you know, because that's it's it's it's not that they were being evil about it necessarily. It's just, you know, that's human nature. You build for yourself, you know.
They did just did not take us into consideration at all. But when you look at all of this together, you know, you see how much we have to wade through on a daily basis, you know, just how much more friction we deal with as women and how what kind of stress and strain that puts on us. And it's really eyeopening even for people like me who have thought about this issue these kinds of issues for many years. just to see you know how you know like all the medications that we take were tested on men. They don't really know how they work on us.
You know how cars were designed for people of a certain size. So those of us who are a bit smaller tend to die a lot more often if we're in an accident. you know, I mean, it's just it's it's this amazing. I recommend it if just to open your eyes. It's a great book for men, too.
Like, because there's nothing at all even remotely combative about it. It's just sort of telling you this is how things were built and this is how the world works. And what else do I'm definitely adding that to my own reading list. Thank you. Yeah, it's great.
yeah, I mean there's so many I it's just you know even I oh men who wait men who hate women. Okay. and that is combative but it is it's about so my next the next project that I'm working about will be sort of on the manosphere. Okay. And it kind of I got a little it'll be kind of a walk through the manosphere in a funny kind of entertaining but incredibly serious way.
and this was one of the one of my source books. So, this is very much about the making of kind of the men's rights movement, you know, the incel movement, all of these men who have come together to really spread misogyny, you know, around the internet. And it will blow your mind. The author's last name is Bates. So, I highly recommend that as well.
You just reminded me and I will never be interviewing him because first of all, I'm only interviewing women and also because he's Stephen King, but did you ever and I bet I can't reach him. Have you ever read the book he wrote with his one son called Sleeping Beauties? No. So, it's interesting. And that's another one that I was like, I really like this book.
And I'll have to go back and reread it because I, you know, I it's written by a man. So, but I felt like he really first of all, I feel like Stephen King always writes good versus bad. It's always good versus evil. That's really the theme of his books. Not necessarily horror, but good versus evil.
But it's about this, you know, plague on humanity that puts all the women to sleep. H the women sleep kind of in a cocoon and the men have to deal with life without women. And it's very interesting because there they are in this world that they've created and the women actually go elsewhere. And it's I it's just an that's going to be my book recommendation. Oh, I'll look into that.
I you know, listen, I mean I think Stephen King is you know, I mean he's a great guy. Like he's he really is like I mean I think you know I think you could make an exception to the women only thing for like somebody like Stephen King. I mean he's he really is he's he's a mch is what he is. He's so great. But I do feel like I'm like we got you know he's got a lot of attention.
Yeah. Stephen King Stephen King does not need more attention. He doesn't need me. I want to shine a spotlight on women who maybe, you know, as their own Stephen King, but talk about that. Maybe I'll reach out to his wife.
So, Oh, yeah. No, she's listen, I think he would be the first to say that, you know, she's as, you know, has played an enormous role in his success and she's, you know, a great writer of her on her own as well. So, Exactly. Exactly. So, all right.
The last thing I would ask you, where can we support you? So, I love everything you're doing and I think the people who listen to this podcast will also agree and be rushing out to get your books if they haven't already read them. But where can we follow along? So, besides your Substack, is there someplace else? Any kind of social media that you I'm still on Instagram.
I've I have a real I I feel like social media has done far more harm than good to our society and I try to I've have been on all of it at some point and I've now narrowed it down to Instagram and which is really quite essential for authors for better or worse. So, I'm there and I'm also on Substack. Watch your back. and yeah, those are the two main places, but I mean, you know, the best thing that, anybody can do for a writer, not just for me, is if you like the books, talk about them. You know, as you know, as somebody in PR who's been in PR, I was in advertising, you know, that the one thing that you cannot buy is word of mouth.
you can't buy it. It's just sort of that's and it's that's the holy grail. That's the most powerful. Yeah. It's the holy grail.
It's what you want. It's like, you know, you dream of working on a product that's good enough that people talk about it and want to share it with their friends. So like if you like what I do talk, just you don't have to, you know, do anything else. Tell a friend, loan them your book, you know, whatever it is. We will definitely tell all our friends.
And yes, I'll definitely I'll I have gotten a few people to read The Change, but I just finished Lululead, so now I'm going to, you know, start my campaign on that. Well, I my next book is coming out in October, and it's if you like The Change, you'll like it. It's I can't wait. It does have some messing with the weather. I will I will warn you right now, but I think I'm gonna like it.
I'm I'm excited already. Well, it's it's very I you know I am very green witchy in a lot of ways. So, this is Wait, and do you have a like a regular mailing list to tell people about your books or is it on your sub? I don't. com.
So, it's being updated at the moment, but hopefully in the next like month or so, it'll be nice and new and have all the information there. It's perfect. When this comes out, I'll have everything in the show notes, so all your links and stuff will be in there. Oh, perfect. Great.
Well, thank you so much for your time. This was awesome. Now, I am so excited for October. and yes, definitely. I'm like, please keep me posted because I can't wait to read it.
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have a great day. You too.
Thanks for listening to Roar. I hope Kirstston Miller's fierce and unflinching take on women, power, and action left you feeling as fired up as I was. If you loved this episode, don't forget to follow, rate, and share Roar with someone who's ready to stop playing small. And your voice matters, too. com to tell us what resonated most or who you want to hear from next.
Coming up next week, I'm talking with Samantha Harmon, founder of The Style Editor. She's a former newspaper editor turned style coach, helping women dress and live with unapologetic confidence. If you've ever stood in front of your closet wondering where the woman you used to be went, this one's for you. Thanks again for tuning in.
Comments