Samantha Harman on Style, Power, and the Confidence to Challenge the Patriarchy

What if your outfit isn’t just a choice—it’s a statement?

In this episode of ROAR, host Danielle Davies sits down with Samantha Harman, award-winning editor and founder of The Style Editor, to explore the radical connection between style, confidence, and power.

They dig into how fashion can both reflect and resist patriarchy—and why what you wear can literally change how you feel, lead, and take up space.

👠 You’ll hear

• How Samantha turned personal style into a tool for empowerment

• Why confidence is the most subversive thing a woman can wear

• The truth about “dressing for success” in male-dominated industries

• How to use your wardrobe to rewrite the story of who you are

00:00 Introduction to Roar Podcast

01:02 Guest Introduction: Samantha Harman

02:21 The Power of Personal Style

04:50 Challenges and Realizations

06:23 Empowerment Through Wardrobe

07:44 Breaking Stereotypes and Misogyny

10:57 Client Experiences and Transformations

25:15 Ethical Fashion and Leadership

29:33 The Struggle of Being an Authentic Woman

30:04 Ethical Fashion Choices

31:56 Astrology and Personal Style

34:38 The Power of Wardrobe in Personal Transformation

37:09 Challenges of Visibility and Being Seen

44:19 Hope for Women in Leadership

51:27 The Importance of Financial Abundance

53:42 Global Clientele and Final Thoughts

Books Mentioned

We Should All Be Millionaires

You Are a Badass at Making Money

The Science of Getting Rich

Quotes Mentioned

“You’re under no obligation to be the same person you were five minutes ago.”—Alan Watts

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”—Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

Also mentioned

Jacenta Wamala, money and mindset coach

To get in touch with or follow Samantha Harman

Instagram: @styleeditoruk

LI:

Listen to ROAR with Danielle Davies: Women, Culture & Impact on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. New conversations every Tuesday.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jn6GejPTs9g

Full Transcript

This transcript was generated automatically and lightly cleaned up. It may contain small errors.

Hey, I'm Danielle Davies and you're listening to Roar, a show that amplifies the voices of women breaking barriers, leading change, and making real impact. Keep listening for bold ideas and stories that inspire you to find your voice and make some noise. Takeback Trust is a directto patient education and empowerment platform that helps people navigate and access reproductive health care in an increasingly restrictive landscape. Through clear, actionable resources, Takeback Trust equips individuals with the knowledge and tools they need to advocate for their rights and get the care they deserve, no matter the political climate. Hi everybody.

I'm Danielle Davies and this is Roar, the podcast about showing up, speaking up, and taking up space. My guest today is someone who embodies all of that and helps other women do the same. Samantha Harman is the founder of The Style Editor, and before that, she was an award-winning newspaper and magazine editor working one of the most maledominated elitist industries out there, the media. Along the way, she noticed something powerful. How what you wear can change how you feel and how you're perceived, especially as a woman, especially in leadership.

No one was having that conversation, so Samantha started it. And when women began asking for her help with their own personal branding and style, she realized this wasn't just about fashion. It was about power, identity, and choosing how you show up in a world that often wants to define that for you. Today, we'll talk about style strategy. what the patriarchy has to do with personal branding and how to own the room on your terms.

Let's get into it. Welcome, Samantha. We're so excited that you're here. Thank you for having me. I'm really excited about this episode.

This episode sounds amazing. Yes. Right. You sound amazing. I know.

I'm I'm so excited. I actually Yeah. I like literally as soon as we're done talking, I'm I'm going to go shopping. Just But I know it's not just about the clothes. I know that.

So let's let we'll we'll talk about this whole thing. So let me just start from the beginning. You were leading newspapers and magazines before you founded the style editor. When did you realize that personal style was more than just surface level and it was power? I realized it a long time before that because I grew up as many women specifically do in a society that told me that I was wrong.

The way that I looked was wrong. I was plus-size. up until not too long ago. And the way that the world treats you is very different than how it treats you when you lose weight because we're told, you know, losing weight is the best most important thing that you can possibly do. It will change your life.

It doesn't. And I really realized that clothes weren't just clothes because I had those experiences of literally crying in changing rooms or not being able to find things that fitted. But in a business context, when I became a editor, I looked around and thought, well, what do editors wear? And I realized editors wear black suits. Basically, they wore like a shirt, a black suit.

But then I realized, wait a minute, that's because every single editor I know is a man. Like, every single editor I'd ever worked for up until that point was a man. And they also did the job in a way that I did not want to do the job. I mean newspapers are a stressful environment but the editor can really make a big impact on the level of stress in the environment and you know swearing shouting getting really cross and it was always it was always kind of given the excuse of but he's so stressed but he's got such a stressful job. I as a woman did not get that level of compassion.

I was told before I started the job, everyone thinks you're a [ __ ] Like, just because I'd got promoted to the job in the first place. So, I realized that things were going to be different for me because people weren't used to having a woman in that role. And also, the way that I dressed was going to be important in showing my authority, in giving me confidence. And it was gonna have to be something that I learned how to do by myself because newspapers, journalists are not known for their style, but also because I didn't know any women who had done that job before me. So, I was literally going first.

What was that experience like for you personally? Like, how did you even begin to kind of embody that? Because I've seen pictures. I've seen your like I've seen what you've put together and it totally exudes confidence. But how was that transition for you?

A journey and a journey because obviously creating the wardrobe using wardrobe as a brand is one is one thing but doing that in a backdrop where people are telling you constantly that you shouldn't have the job that you have is another. I mean I literally had you know someone send stories about me to the private eye. I had people writing comments about my appearance. I got a lot of abuse unfortunately. And one of my male colleagues who had a lot of awareness, he said to me one day, I've been looking at the comments that you get and the comments that I get.

We do the same job and I didn't understand why you get so much more abuse than me. And he said, the only thing that is different about us is that you are a woman and I'm a man. So it was a very different experience because of being a woman in that role. And I started to really realize that when I felt good in what I wore, I had more confidence and I was able to be like swear word. I was able to essentially, you know, like say like, "Fuck off.

This is how this is what's happening. " So I learned that yeah, wardrobe is a tool not just for how other people perceive you, but also how you perceive yourself. And the moment that it really changed for me was when I realized the link between astrology really and energetics and what you wear. So I am an Aries Sagittarius got a lot of fire in my chart and you've seen pictures of before I really tapped into this where what I was wearing it never really felt like me. It felt like an expected version of me and it wasn't bold.

It wasn't really I didn't feel like in the energy of taking ownership. And when I started to lean into what is naturally happening for me in my energetics, that's when everything changed and I started to feel very powerful because I was empowered. You know, it's so interesting because I think that anybody who's ever felt good in their skin and what they were wearing can completely resonate with this. But on the flip side, you know, a lot of times we look at style as something that's frivolous, like especially in academic or professional circles. How do you push back on that narrative and help women reframe this as a tool of leadership and communication and energy instead of just being like an afterthought?

It really benefits patriarchy that women are told to believe that clothes are silly and frivolous because our relationship with clothes is very different than the relationship that men are allowed to have with clothes. And I think they have their own issues in terms of being able to express themselves freely through what they wear. But for women, we are marketed to in ways that men are not. Our wardrobes are weaponized against us to make us play small, to buy things that we don't need, to spend our money and our time on stuff that doesn't matter. And a lot of women have wardrobes that are spaces of complete disempowerment.

They open their wardrobe in the morning. They feel frustrated and stressed and angry and sad and like this doesn't quite fit with who they're supposed to be, but they don't know who they're supposed to be because they are wife, mom, sister, daughter, taking care of everyone else, taking care of all of the pastoral stuff at work as well as trying to do their job. They are exhausted looking after everyone else. So, their wardrobe has been neglected. It's a place of disempowerment.

And every time they put on their clothes, that is the identity they're affirming. They're affirming you don't really matter that much, but also they're they're existing in this space of you don't really matter, but also it's vain to care about what you wear, but also if you don't care about what you wear, you are an, you know, an old hag, right? That's the kind of the nar not we're not saying that out loud, but when we pit women against women, example, this week Sarah Jessica Parker has turned 60. So there's been this rhetoric about Sarah Jessica Parker versus Demi Moore and how Demi Moore is in one way better because she has quote unquote looked after her appear appearance but in another way she is also silly, selfish and frivolous. Women can't win.

And that's the whole point. The whole point is women are not allowed to win because then they feel trapped in this endless cycle of I'm not good enough. So they'll continue to play small so they won't earn the money, the credibility, the agency that they need in order to actually really make fundamental change. Oh my gosh, you must be so busy with clients because I feel like I want to just fly across the world to get to you. because so many things you just said just resonated, but the the playing small, but also the idea of we don't know who we are when we're representing something.

years ago I ran for office. It was like completely out of character thing. I had always been like a creative and now I run for office and I this was like a really big struggle for me was finding out what figuring out what to wear. I was like but I want to be me but I need to represent myself. It was a it and it seemed like a really frivolous struggle but it wasn't.

It was like it's who you are and it's how you're represented and I noticed that you know and I'm not the only one. So many women shapeshift. We tone ourselves down. We and not just in our wardrobes, but in our personalities. We just spoke about that briefly, but we tone ourselves down to be taken seriously or to fit in.

How do you, you know, you're not just obviously styling people? How do you help clients unlearn that? Most of my work isn't actually about clothes. So I see closed as the physical manifestation of your hopes, your dreams, your beliefs, your fears, your thoughts. All of that stuff is wrapped up in a container in your house, which is energy.

And so when I'm working with a client, we aren't ever really starting with the wardrobe. We're not really starting with you are an apple shape and you should wear this type of clothing and you should wear these colors. We are un we're like you said we're unlearning all of that stuff. So some of it is kind of coaching and mindset and beliefs and helping them to understand the link between wardrobe and all of this other stuff because when I look in someone's wardrobe I can tell what is happening inside of them. How they think about themselves.

It shows up in the things that they don't wear the things that they're too scared to wear. things that they are wearing because oftentimes they're putting stuff on that is a way of extinguishing that flame. Right? If you think of a candle and then you put you put something over it to extinguish, that's what so many women do with their wardrobes. So, it's all of that on learning.

The first part when I work with someone is I have a toolkit that I give them where they will go through all of these prompts and tools and they will also do something called the outfit diary which is where for seven days 7 to 5 days they don't change anything about what they're wearing but they bring conscious awareness to it. So they will know what they are actually wearing, how it makes them feel, what happens in their day, whether that is supporting their overall goals or not. And bringing that awareness to what they're wearing, helps them to understand what it is that they want to change. Often it's not that they need to go out and buy loads of new clothes. It's that they need to work on their identity to become the woman who wears the clothes that are hanging in the wardrobe with the labels on them.

Ah, I was just gonna say like what usually surprises your clients the most about the process and I guess this is part of it. Yeah, usually it's that we don't it's not about the it's not about the clothes. And sometimes, you know, I'm not going to say to everybody, you don't need to buy new clothes. Sometimes, very rarely, but sometimes a client will have an inventory problem where they do not have the stuff there. I'm not a I'm not a miracle worker as good as I like to think I am with creating outfits.

I'm not a miracle worker. I can't work with nothing. So, sometimes there is an inventory problem. Sometimes you have to be willing to invest in order to have that return on your investment. But usually it's that they just aren't seeing things in the potential of it.

They are blind to the possibilities of their wardrobe because they open the wardrobe in the morning, they go to the same few items because your mind wants to form habits to make life easier for you. It's like they can't see the wood for the trees. And often times there's loads of potential in your wardrobe. You just need someone who doesn't have or carry any of your self-limiting stories or beliefs to come in and show you what that is. I love this.

And you know, it's funny because two things that you're saying, you're reminding me of different posts that you read, but one of them is the one when you're saying, well, two things you mentioned in one post recently, you're like the you know, the CO's over, not COVID, but you know, the lockdown is over like the leggings and the stretch pants and the sweatpants, like we can wrap that up now. We don't and so many of us have become so comfortable in that you don't even kind of recognize that this is like not what you previously would have worn or maybe not what you want to wear to elevate yourself. I mean, if you're going to yoga, great. But if you're not, there's not really a need for this. But the other thing and I loved this.

I told my husband about it, too. And it was interesting to hear his response how you said you wrote a blog post about women should not do not buy your pants at the grocery store. do not buy clothes at the grocery store. And I'm sure people are listening thinking, I don't buy clothes at the grocery store, but I dare somebody to tell me they haven't bought an outfit at like a Sam's Club. I don't know if you have like a Sam's Club or like a Costco, something like a big box store where you're there for, you know, big boxes of oranges and paper towels and this and that.

And then you're like, you know what? I'll just get these pants because you're such an afterthought to yourself that you're just you're treating yourself like that's what you deserve to wear. And I just think it's so interesting that you pointed this out. And the interesting thing also is that my husband, a man who he's an awesome guy. I love him, but you know, he knows on an airplane to put the mask on himself first.

me, I would be tempted to shove it on my kids before I put it on myself just because that's the way that it is. And so I'm curious how you help women differentiate, you know, these aspects of themselves that like they're worth this investment and this care and that it really it does mean something. It's not just everybody else is taking care and you're taking care of other people as and again I'm making a generalization but I'm wondering how you help them get past that level of it also that this is kind of what you deserve. I think I do quite a bit of that already in my content so that when they come to work with me they already have that understanding because it's very hard to pull someone up when they don't want to. You know the phrase, you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink.

I think people have to be ready for the transition, the transformation, the change and then we can work on it together rather than me trying to or like forcing anyone. " I would never do stuff like that because I put my content out there with the purpose of speaking to the right women who then will start to think about the change they want to make and then they will eventually decide they have the self leadership to come and make that change. So it's really important that content is speaking to that. But then overall I get a lot of particularly to those posts that you've mentioned a lot of defensiveness and a lot of people who are like how dare you know I buy my clothes at the supermarket and I always ask them why have you responded because if you are happy with the decisions you're making if you know that you are making the money that you want to make in your business that everything is great for you that this is how you are operating and that's fine Why would you feel the need to tell me that it's fine? You would just simply scroll by, right?

You're being triggered by something is a sign that you should perhaps investigate where that trigger is coming from. And it's really interesting with women because we have a lot of internalized misogyny. And a lot of the stuff I hear is self judgment. I can't buy stuff for myself because that makes me a bad parent somehow or a bad partner or a bad sister or a bad friend by spending money on yourself. That's not selfish.

In fact, one reference that I often come back to is the book We Should All Be Millionaires by Rachel Rogers. Because in that book she makes the point that we have to be millionaires in order to make the change that we want to make as women in the world. I mean if we look at the grand scale of things, the balance in power, the people who currently have their fingers like dangerously close to the blow it all up button. Are these people that we want in charge? No.

I would love people like you to be in charge. I would love people like the women who I work with to be in charge. We need money in order to make that happen. And clothing is a tool that men have been using for centuries to get ahead to be those people with their fingers dangerously close to the button. Even when we think that they're not using style in that way, they absolutely are.

I get a lot of backlash when I say stuff like get out of your hoodie. It's five years on from the pandemic. I get so I get a lot of backlash from that. And the point I'm making is if you are someone who is able to rock up at work in a hoodie, not really care about what you're wearing, and still make money and still be respected, that means that you have a massive amount of privilege. That means that the privileges that you have, white privilege, able privilege, male privilege, hetronormative privilege, all these privileges have converged to create a situation where you are able to walk into that room in your sweatpants and people still respect you.

Unfortunately, when you are a woman, particularly if you are you know, a black woman for as an example, you do not have the same level of privilege as a straight white man. So, you cannot do the same things. We know this from studies. We know from studies that women are judged much more harshly on what they wear than men. And that is by women and men as well.

And everyone, we judge women more harshly than we do men. So, this is not me telling you, I don't like the fact that you're wearing sweats, right? It's me telling you, I want you to make more money. I want you to have the career, the bank account, the freedom that you desire. I want you to be able to take all of your purpose and passion and turn it into something really meaningful in the world.

You cannot do that without money. Your wardrobe is a tool to help you to get the money you need to do that. I have a question. So, I don't think anybody who's wearing a hoodie, I mean, and I'm I am making a huge generalization here because maybe they do. If you're wearing a hoodie, it's comfort, right?

It's it's com that is what it is. It's comfort. It's it's cozy. It's familiar. It's not breaking a boundary.

It's not going out there. it's not doing those things. There's a time and place in your home watching a movie. Obviously, nobody's sitting around looking their best eating a bowl of popcorn and nor should they be. But when you go out there, I know some people and I'm guessing they're like they want to feel that sense of comfort because they're thinking, "Okay, I'm I'm already going out there.

I'm I'm trying to be brave. " How do you help women differentiate between what they like, and I can't imagine that somebody would really lock into that hoodie, but maybe they do, and what they feel they should wear also. And reverse, too, because sometimes you see something really magnificent, you know, like just daring and bold, and you're like, I love this, but where would I wear this? I could never pull this off. What do you say in both instances?

It's really interesting to think about the idea of I could never. Recently, I was with a friend of mine and we were actually out trying on clothes, which is funny because obviously this is what I do for a living. So, it's kind of like a busman's holiday. And I put this outfit together and I came out of the changing room and the woman who worked at the shop said, "I absolutely love that. " So, I started to ask her what she meant by that.

That's really interesting. Why don't you think you could? And you know, the reason she was giving was, "Well, I need to lose weight. I need to do this. I'm not this enough.

" It's all just self-limiting stories that we tell ourselves that keep us small. And there is a quote, I can't remember who said it, but it's you are under no obligation to be the same person now as you were 5 minutes ago. Your identity is simply the set of beliefs that you are most wedded to. So if you believe something to be true about yourself and you act to it, that is going to put you on the path of the things that person attracts to them. Clothes are a psychological tool for helping you achieve your goals.

So there is something called enclosed cognition which means that the associations that you have for an item of clothing will create your actions. So if you put on a piece of clothing that you think is the type of thing that woman who you want to be who's making x amount of money would wear, you are more likely to take the action she would take than if you put on clothes that you know she would never wear. So, the test always for clients when we're talking about you know, athleisure and hoodies and all that kind of stuff is if your dream ideal client knocked on your door right now, would you be happy to answer it as you currently are? And I'm not saying you can never wear pajamas or hoodies. I have these items.

I'm not insane. I don't sit around in my house in a ball gown for God's sake. I eat pizza like everybody else. But it's would you be okay with them seeing you like this? Because who you are when you're on your own is the most important thing.

It's not actually what you wear out there. Oh my gosh, I love this. Okay. Okay. I love everything you're saying.

I feel like it's so it's so cool because really you're a coach. I mean, really, you're coaching, but the cool thing is that the end result on top of your confidence and your business development and your growth and your and hopefully your, you know, your finances is that you look really good, too. And so, that's just like the cherry on top type of thing. so I have another question. Your work touches on, and you've talked about it, the intersection of style, patriarchy, visibility.

How have those conversations evolved as more women step into leadership roles? I mean right now obviously in the US we're having we're having some problems but I would like to think that we are seeing more women step into leadership roles worldwide and that trend will continue. So has that conversation evolved as you're seeing this? Certainly it has. I use LinkedIn as my main platform for getting the message out and starting these conversations.

And when I started using LinkedIn a couple of years ago, I really noticed there was a lot more kind of defensiveness or this doesn't matter in a work context. So there was education around why it does actually matter and how women are simply just a few steps behind. Basically, like men have been able to use wardrobe as a tool for business for many years and women have not because women have not been in those spaces. But as more women get into those spaces, the conversation is going to become more important. What you wear is going to become something that you will want to invest in.

And also from an ethical point of view as well. If you are the type of woman who says that you support other women, that you want equity for women, that you want rights for all women and girls, that the gender pay gap really pisses you off. How are you wearing clothes that are made in a sweat shop by a 16-year-old girl for 2 p an hour that's owned by a company where the man in charge of it is a billionaire many times over? like it's also an ethical conversation and I think when people believe that they get to opt out of the work wear chat they're never actually opting out because they're wearing clothes. Everyone's wearing clothes.

It's the one thing that you have to unless you're at some nudist retreat or your job is like butler in the buff or something you have to wear clothes. You don't actually get to opt out. So educating yourself, making better decisions is the way forward. We talk a lot about showing up fully here on Roar, whether it's, you know, having the bravery to show up in an advocacy sense, in a self-defense sense, you know, just basically taking ownership and stepping into a field where you're advocating for other women and how that feels. What does showing up fully, confidently, unapologetically look like to you?

It looks like wearing whatever the hell you want and that being the it's basically you being so okay with yourself that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of it. that no that anyone else's opinion of you whether they like you or not doesn't matter because you know that being liked is essentially not manipulation but when your most important thing is that other people like you, it's almost like you are shapeshifting to fit in with whatever they you think that they need you to be and not who you truly are. So understanding yourself, having that purpose and drive and passion and dressing for it and showing up for it regardless of what anyone else could ever possibly say because you know that their opinion of you is actually something that they should work on in themselves. When people are looking at you and we don't ever know what anyone's thinking when they're looking at us anyway. Nine times out of 10 they're not thinking anything about us.

We need to get over ourselves. We aren't the center of the universe, which for an Aries is very hard to come to terms with that I am not the center of everyone else's universe, but never mind. I hear you. I hear you on that. Then they're not thinking about they're not thinking about you.

If they are, they're probably thinking, "Wow, I wish that I had the confidence to do that. That's given me an idea. " And I think that for women of our generations like at this point in time that we're at, that is our job. It feels hard. It feels very hard to be a woman who is outrageously being herself in public, saying the things, doing the things because patriarchy doesn't want you to.

And you are the first generation of women who've been able to do this. But there's a reason you're here at this point in time to do these things. So, it is actually on you to dress up, show up, and be that. Sorry, but I'm totally getting changed when we hang up. I'm absolutely I Well, you know, and I wanted to ask you too, you talk about the fact that a lot of people have a lot of items in their wardrobe and they've got the inventory and some people don't.

Some people don't have that, but also the idea of not supporting sweat shops and you know, there is that ethical component. " Like for example, I just had to go for an in-person interview someplace and I hadn't done something where somebody saw my pants in so long and I was like, "Oh my gosh, I need a whole like I don't just need a top. Like I need the bottoms. " And it took me a while. I actually found something on Spanx that I loved and it was on sale and it fit great and I felt like a I felt awesome in it and that was the key thing.

" I don't know. I mean, obviously we hear I'm not going to name names, but we hear of places not to go, right? There are sweat shops, there's there's super fast fashion, there's, you know, whole suits for $23. like that's not going to make anybody feel good about anything besides the fact that you're not supporting women by supporting a sweat shop. The clothes don't actually feel good on you.

You don't feel good in such a thing. do you have any tips for things like that where people are, you know, not trying to fall into trend chasing but also do need to pick up some things to supplement their wardrobe? Yeah, this is going to sound really weird, but bear with me. Can't wait. Look at your astrology.

Look at your rising sign, your sun sign, your Venus. So, the reason that capsule wardrobes, they don't work for everybody. So, what I'll often find is that a client or a woman is like, I need to change my style. I need to upgrade my style. I need staples.

They will then go on Pinterest and they'll look at a capture wardrobe checklist and then they'll buy all of the things that are on the checklist and then they find that they don't feel very good. And the reason they don't feel very good is because those checklists are made for essentially earth signs. They are made for the Taurus. They're made for Taurus people who love to be organized, who love quality over quantity, who's whose basic term of expression is through having that capsule staple look. for other people like a Leo, like a Gemini, like a Scorpio, that is not going to work the same because they aren't expressing who they truly are through their wardrobe.

So, if you are a Scorpio rising, you are a very intuitive, emotionally intelligent person. You are very, very deep level. So, you have to feel a connection with your clothes in order to feel good about them. If you are an Aries rising, you are very bold. You are the first in the zodiac.

You take risks. You experiment with things that needs to be expressed in your wardrobe too. So looking at your astrology and other things as well, like your human design, which is an amalgamation of lots of these different principles and practices, is really helpful to know what your specific capsule wardrobe is. And then from there we can look at the places that you could go to get those staples because different labels have their own unique personality. If you're looking at designer, obviously they have their own unique stance, their own unique designs and then that filters down through to the lower levels into fast fashion and that is just a kind of amalgamation of all of the designers.

So understanding yourself and your energetic blueprint means that you can then look at specific designs and styles that suit you really well. That's why I mean tmi but at the moment I am going through a bit of a evolution. I talk about style evolution a lot with my clients and about how I really feel into when my style needs to evolve. I know that's because I'm about to go to a new financial level. Like when I lean into the evolution, good stuff happens.

And at this current point in time that we are talking, there is a solar eclipse and this is a huge one. 2025 is a massive year for energy shifting, changing. And so I know that in this transition, I will be changing my style again to be more bolder, braver, bigger, whatever it needs to be for that next financial level to come in. Right? It's all very woo, but this is the I think energetics is often the thing that stylists, not because they deliberately are doing anyone a disservice.

They're not taught about this stuff. I wasn't taught in any of the styling training that I did. We weren't taught about energetics or about coaching or any of that. It's just literally if your client is a pear shape, put her in a-ine skirt, right? If your client is an apple, drape around her tummy.

It's all very generic designed to put women in more boxes. That's how it feels a lot of the time. So, when you are able to add in the energetic side of things, that's when the true magic actually happens. I've had clients before who've worked with a stylist and they've gone out and they've bought a quote unquote capsule wardrobe. They've worn, you know, the trench coat, the classic button-d down, the jeans that, and a year later, they have not worn any of those things.

And the reason is because that it just doesn't suit their personality in any way, shape, or form. We're trying to put this brilliant, vibrant Leo, Sagittarius rising in a Taurus Libra wardrobe. That doesn't make any sense. " And some people can't identify that. And that's why I feel like the fact that you do this kind of energy work helps you identify those things that are going to feel good.

" It's it's so much more than that. And I love that. I love how you approach it. I have a question about your own visibility. So, you know, you were in these fields the and you said you were getting a lot of like push back and comments and it must have been awful by the way.

but how's your relationship with being seen shifted from all of this? Like in the beginning, was it harder to embrace, you know, being bold in sometimes when you're faced with kind of like comments, attacks from the outside, you feel the need to shut down, right? You want to retreat. " How did you how did you make that shift yourself to kind of shoulders up and and step into this different version of yourself at that time? How did how did that relationship with being seen shift?

I think probably I've had a bit of a head start compared to a lot of the women I know who are now building out their brands and building out their businesses because a lot of them have come from a corporate background where they didn't have to be the face of anything. So they were able to be at their desk known to their team but maybe not known to a wider audience. And so suddenly they find they want to start this business. They have this really great idea, this really great gift, but they also have to do all of this marketing and that's very hard because they have never had to do that before. So I think I started this journey way back when because as a journalist you have to have a personal you have to have a profile.

You have to be seen. My face was in a newspaper every single day for years. But that doesn't that doesn't mean it doesn't come with challenges. is and I think it's important to acknowledge that fundamentally, yes, the reason that women specifically feel scared of putting themselves out there is because we do have to think about real and present dangers in a way that men don't. When we leave our houses in the morning, we're not just stepping out.

We're actually subconsciously thinking, am I safe? Do I have my phone? Does someone know where I'm going? Have I locked the doors to my car? Is everything going to be okay to protect our physical safety?

And of course, there are parts of our brains that are so prehistoric that we equate someone being mean to us on the internet with us getting attacked by a saber-tooth tiger. So, we are living in this really weird time of develop like having this prehistoric part of our brain and the internet and having to be on 24/7 and it's exhausting and it can feel quite scary and it's important to acknowledge all of that. But I do think that my wardrobe massively helps me because I put on stuff that feels really good and it changes how I feel and then I'm like no one can mess with me at this point. Like no one's messing with me. I know my purpose.

That's what I'm here for. Like tunnel vision focus on that. And knowing ultimately that if you are a woman who is stepping out into the limelight, you are saying things that are different. You are going to get [ __ ] from people because this goes against completely the status quo. I mean we see it play out in the international stage with women who are doing things with unadulterated ambition.

We are told that is wrong, that is selfish. We try and take them down. So unfortunately, we got to we've got to expect it, but we can use our wardrobes as a tool to help us to get through it. And I think that's ultimately what I did because for me, it was not so much about being on the internet. It was walking into rooms where I was the only woman and all of the men in the room were 20 years older than me and they all expected the editor to be a man because my name was Sam.

And then they would spend the whole time speaking to my male deputy instead of speaking to me. So for me it was using my wardrobe as a tool in the physical realm. But you can do it online as well. You can channel energy through what you're wearing. You can change your state.

As I said, there's a lot of psychology to this. Put on an outfit that makes you feel like a boss and remember what you're here for. And think about yourself. Think about yourself at 90 years old. What would she say to you right now?

She'd be like, "This is the youngest, most fabulous, best we've ever been right now at this point. You know what you're here for. Get the outfit on. " Yeah. You know what's so funny?

You know, you're saying this, and I feel like even what you mentioned before, like you were going into a room, but even if you are working by yourself, you feel like you're more efficient. you're getting stuff done. And it's funny, I have a 16-year-old daughter. And so I know that like it's look good, feel good, right? And she if she's got a good outfit and her hair is good, she's going to she's already like primed for the day in a in a way that she wouldn't be if she didn't feel that way.

And somewhere along the way, it's like, and maybe this doesn't happen to everybody, but I feel like, well, my experiences as a mom, so I feel like I' I've seen this happen, but like somewhere along the way, what I wore was very important. And eventually it became not as not as important. And so like we have to kind of readjust ourselves to, you know, you're saying what would your 90-year-old self say? " So, it is interesting to see how we kind of change as women and and how much that means. And I think like it's very easy to forget if you're especially if you aren't necessarily in places or you're not, like you said, the face of it.

you're you're you know one of the people at work and you so it's easy to just I always think of Did you ever you know I know there's the UK version also of the office. Yeah. The US office my favorite show. Love it. I love it.

I love it. But, you know, I always think of like in the office in the America version like Pam Beasley like it's very, you know, she's very she's got her little work clothes on like she's not stepping into herself as in the workplace and she admits that. So, it's it's just it's really interesting. Yeah. Yeah.

She's taking a leaf out of Jan Leverson Gold's book when it comes to that stuff. Yeah. Exactly. Serenity by John candles. What's and you know we talked about like what's going on briefly.

We talked about what's going on in the world at large and America's version of the world. Yay. let me ask you what is giving you hope right now when it comes to women in leadership? Anything? Please say yes.

Nothing. Yeah. Nothing. you know what? I think that as much as we as much as the internet has been a crazy thing for disinformation, the way that it's changed the media landscape, all of that stuff.

I think that it's incredible that it enables women with this type of purpose and passion to converge and to meet each other and to use their collective power for good. And I'm really I'm really feeling that like I've met so many incredible women through LinkedIn particularly who are doing amazing stuff and I am excited about their defiance. And I actually something that gave me hope the other day is I read this post that said that when things are about to go extinct they have a resurgence. And the author of this post was saying that is what she believes is happening with patriarchy right now. It's like patriarchy knows that women are we are you know equity is coming and patriarchy is having this moment of no like destroy destroy but ultimately patriarchy itself is going to get destroyed.

So that gave me some hope and to think that we get to be a part of that. And I always think about I say this often but I always think about my grandma who was she was the most intelligent, charismatic, beautiful woman I glamorous woman that I've ever met. But she was born in the 1920s and she got a place at grammar school. She was from a very workingclass background, but her birthday was in September when she was supposed to go to grammar school. The Second World War happened, so she wasn't able to go.

And by the end of the war, she was nursing and she met a soldier and they ended up she ended up having eight children. and you know, she I always think of her because if she was born at this age, if she was born in the same year as me, I know that woman would be like unstoppable potential. And so I always think she did not have the opportunities in the 90 or so nearly 100 years since she was born. So much stuff has changed and I have opportunities now that she did not get to have. So, it's my purpose to live those opportunities, not just for myself, but for all of those women before us who didn't get to.

If you could have one wish for every woman to know about her style, her voice, or her presence, what would it be? Because that example of your grandma is like amazing. And I feel like that's it. You wear That's that's the answer to the question, but I want to give it to you to respond because you're you're just so well spoken and I'm like, tell me more. Tell me everything.

But it's such a great perspective. " But then I thought about my daughter and I thought about the experience that the experiences that I did have. And you know, when you look at something terrible, it's you minimize your own thing because you're like, well, I didn't have that. I don't have any right to speak up, right? Like I didn't have that terrible thing.

" Like, nobody is going to make my daughter feel the way that I have potentially been made to feel. So when you're talking about your grandmom and these different generations and I'm thinking about, you know, my daughter and her generation and her friends and their attitudes about things and their hopes and aspirations, I'm curious what you wish, you know, universally that every woman knew about her style, her voice, or her presence. that you are extraordinary and you are here at this moment in time for a purpose. And just because the world continuously tries to convince you and gaslight you into thinking that you don't, you are listening to this podcast for a reason. You're listening to this podcast because you are an extraordinary woman.

Because if you weren't, you wouldn't. You know, you have this inkling, this intuition that you are, you have to listen to this for a reason, right? You are here for a purpose. You are extraordinary. You are here for such a time as this.

It matters. Your decisions matter. Your feelings matter. What you wear matters. I really want to shake you.

The fire side of me. I just want to want to roar. We're on the raw podcast. Yes. like you you are extraordinary.

Get that into your damn head. And I know that's easier said than done because you spent your life being told the opposite. But the reason you've been told the opposite is so they won't so that you won't remember it. So that you won't create the things you're here to create. I mean, it's like the Marian Williamson quote.

I always come back to that one. Is that our greatest fear is not that we aren't capable. It's that we are more capable than our wildest dreams capable. That's what you're here for. You've You've been put on the planet at this time for a reason.

And we can look at all the stuff that's happening, the hideous men, people in charge, all the stuff that is happening, and just go, "Well, there's nothing I can do. " Maybe you're here to be the antidote cuz everything imbalance to all of that. Maybe that's why. Maybe it's an important opportunity for women, other people to pull together collectively, remember how extraordinary they are and do something about it. And another thing that has just popped into my head that I heard last week by a woman called Yinka Awala who is a mindset and money coach and she's inc when you hear her speak you're like wow the every time she opens her mouth I learn something and she said rich you is the real you.

You have not met the real you until you are rich. And my interpretation of what she was saying cuz she said that sometimes people get triggered by it is that if you are abundant in money and time, you are able to actually do the things that need doing. So rich you is the real you because money isn't evil. We're told that money is the root of all evil. Money is simply a conduit for energy.

So if you are a good person, it's going to amplify your goodness. If you're a bad person, it's going to amplify the bad stuff, right? Rich you is the real you. And yeah, as a as a woman living in this time, I think it's it's imperative actually that we do use our voices and we have more agency and we create more money because I know for a fact that we do good things with it. We do much better things being done right now.

Did you ever read Jen Cerro's book, You Are a Badass, and then she's got the you are a badass at making money. Yes. And it's it's well, and I've read other books like that, too, where it's like, you know, sometime she says that she in one of her books, she refers to a book by Wallace Waddles, which I actually have that Wallace Waddles book, and it's really old-fashioned, but it's like you cannot be truly happy without money unless you're rich. And she took great offense to that the first time she read it. " Like, and she put it away.

And then later she realized what you're saying. It's like, you know, you your best self is maybe the one that wants to write a book or create or donate or volunteer or do these things and you cannot do those things if you're if you're constantly struggling. You have to get past that point of struggle. So, I appreciate that you say that because I agree. But, I have a last thing.

so obviously in the UK here, people know how to reach out to you and I'm going to share all your stuff in our show notes and I'll share your different I know you've got like a couple different programs that people Is there a way for people to work from work with you from afar? Yep. I have clients all over the place. I have clients in a lot of Europe, in America, Canada, South Africa, all over. So, it's another amazing thing about the internet is we get to do this work regardless of where.

I think it's important that you work with the right people and it's not necessarily, you know, a woman who lives down the road from me, I might not be the right person to help her. Someone else would be the right personal stylist to help her. Someone across the other side of the world, I might be the exact person to help them. So, we always make it work regardless of where you are. That's awesome.

Okay. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I will follow up. I'm going to have everything in our podcast episode so that people can get in touch with you.

And you're very active on LinkedIn and Instagram, right? I know you're on LinkedIn because that's where I keep seeing all your posts. but I thank you so much for your time, your inspiration, your passion, and your energy. It's been awesome talking to you. Likewise.

Thank you. Thank you so much. Have a great day. You, too. All right.

Bye. Bye. Well, that's it for today. Thanks for listening to Roar. If something in this episode made you sit up straighter, feel a little more powerful, or rethink how you show up in the world, send it to someone who might need that, too.

And don't forget to leave a review, hit follow, or post it to your stories. All the things that help more people find us. Next week, we're exploring a different kind of impact. One rooted in service, remembrance, and the fight to bring our missing service members home. It's a conversation with Debbie Zinny of the Defense PM MIA accounting agency and it's not one you want to miss.

See you then.